November 19, 2011

I Don't Remember - 30 Health Post in 30 Days

Since I was diagnosed at the age of 11 and I don't have the best memory, I don't really remember what it was like before I had diabetes.  I am lucky that I got 11 years of not having to deal with this disease, but really I just can't even understand what it would be like.  I don't remember what it is like to not count carbs, to exercise without worrying about my blood sugar going low.  I feel naked if I don't have my insulin pump on.  There was a time that I wasn't wearing a pump because my old one broke and they were sending me a new stomach felt so smooth without any tubing stuck in it and without this little box attached to my pants.  I don't remember a time when my fingers weren't calloused from testing my blood sugar or when I didn't have to worry about being thrown in a pool for fun, fearing that my pump would get wet and die.  I don't remember a time when I didn't have to go to the doctor at least every three months.  I don't know what it is like to not always be carrying a purse with me that contains a blood tester, glucose tablets and a ton of food...just in case.  I don't know what it is like to not stand in line at the pharmacy for forever only to be told that they don't have all that I ordered or that my insurance has issues with what I ordered.  I don't remember a time when I wouldn't go more than a few months without having to call up my insurance and have to fight them over one thing or another.
I don't remember a time when I didn't wish that there was some sort of a cure for diabetes.

I also don't remember a time when I was ashamed of being diabetic or a time when diabetes didn't make me a stronger person.

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days:


karlie said...

i love this post...your comments are so raw and real! i like that all of us get a real look inside allison...i so have been enjoying your blog! what am i going to do when the 30 days are up? i do hope you will continue to post as much!

Lisa said...

U r so right on. Guess I am kinda glad for kaiser because up until the cgm issues I never had diabetes related insurance problems!!