In My Head - 30 Health Posts in 30 Days

Today is another day where I am deciding a topic on my own...these questions and statements are ones that go through my mind constantly everyday for as long as I can remember and I'm not sure that I have ever really shared them out loud...

Why am I waking up in the middle of the night?  Am I high?  Am I low?  Where's my blood tester?

What am I going to eat?  I want something with chocolate.  There is nothing in the house that I want to eat to get out of this low.

I feel low.  I just want to fall asleep and die.  (don't worry, I'm not suicidal)

How much fiber is in that?

Is my blood sugar level going up or down?  If I leave for the store now will my sugar be low by the time I get there and I'll have to eat something in the store?

If I eat this I need to do a dual bolus.  How many hours should I do that for?  At how many units?  Why is there no exact science for fatty foods?

I've been running low at nights so if I eat 10 carbs before going to bed without taking any insulin, I should be fine.

If I get my blood sugar up to a certain amount, I can work out for a while and not get low, but will have to start a decreased basal for a bit before and a few hours after so that I don't go low and I have to make sure that I have my tester with me and some fruit snacks so that I don't have to go grab something to eat, etc etc etc...

Why won't my blood sugar level go down?  I've been taking insulin every hour and it isn't moving.

I didn't even eat anything, why is my blood sugar level spiking right now?  What the heck?

Why am I still low?!

I can't wait for the resurrection!

I'm going into a meeting, I should eat something just to be higher so that I don't go low and have to stop the meeting to go get something to eat.

How is my pump out of insulin already???

Crap...did I just pull something out?

This is the second time I've gone to the bathroom in an hour, I'm probably high.

My lips are chapped, am I high?

My saliva tastes sweet, am I high?

My eyesight is blurry, am I high?

I feel weird, am I low?

The bones in my legs tingle, am I low?

I don't get what they are saying, am I low?

I'm hungry when I shouldn't be, am I low?

I'm too tired to change my set all the way, if I add a few more units to the pump I won't have to change it until tomorrow night.

If my pump says I need 2 unit of insulin to cover this amount of food, but my blood sugar level is stable and I have 1 unit of active insulin already in me, should I take the two units of insulin to cover what I'm going to eat or should I subtract the active insulin from the two units and only take one unit and risk going higher?

Man, I don't want to take my blood tester out in public to test my blood sugar.

Why doesn't every restaurant have nutritional information?

What does that alarm code mean!?

Where on earth am I going to hide my pump when I wear that?

How long should I wait this time to take insulin after eating more food than needed to compensate for a low?

Is my pump site infected?  How long has it been since I changed it?

How come the left side of my stomach is allergic to the sensor tape and the right side isn't?

I need to calibrate my sensor but my blood sugar is going up but my pump is going to get mad at me if I don't give it a blood sugar number that is stable and then I'll have to wait to adjust the sensor again when my sugar levels aren't moving as much.

How can I be low when I just ate so much?  I'm so full I don't want to eat anything!

Do I have enough strips/insulin/pump sets to last me until I am allowed to get my next 3 month supply?

How much is that going to cost me?

Why isn't there a light on my blood tester?  I can't see to be able to get blood on the test strip or see what results come up!

Why is my pump vibrating again?

Uhm...how many carbs are in that???  Let's just say this much...

Why is the signal weak on my sensor...the pump is right next to it!

How many times do I need to prick my finger before I actually draw some blood?

Dang, way too much blood...I need a tissue.

Oh shoot, did I take insulin for that?

Did I eat the amount of carbs I took insulin for?  and if not, how many did I not eat so that I can go find something to eat to make up for the insulin I already have in my body.

I'm going to throw my blood tester against the wall if it tells me that I didn't put enough blood on the strip AGAIN.

How are there so many bubbles in my tubing?

Ug, I feel like crap.

Should I eat 15 carbs of candy or 15 carbs of an apple?

Maybe if I eat more, my blood sugar will go up faster and I won't feel like this as long as I could.

Have my prescriptions expired?

When is my next Dr appointment?

Why is my health insurance SO retarded??

No, I'm not dying.

Ug, I clearly didn't estimate the carb count on that correctly.

My blood sugar is too high, I shouldn't eat the cake being offered to me.

If I pass out right now, will someone know what to do for me?

I feel like my blood sugar is going low, how am I going to get out of this so that I can find something to eat...where's my purse?

If I change my sensor now, it will wake me up in 2 hours to calibrate, and then I can fall asleep again.

I have 20 units of insulin left in my pump and I'm at work, will that last me until I get off at five or do I need to run home and refill my pump?

Those are just a few thoughts that go on in my head throughout a day...I'd say I probably think 90% of them at least once a day.  Neurotic enough for you??

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J